Parent Strategies
For Prevention of Adolescent Drug Abuse
Parents! Check out this great website for more info: Parents:
The Anti-Drug
- Be aware
that nearly all children must make decisions about drug use and
form attitudes about drugs in their formative years.
- Become educated
and informed about drugs and their effects. Be a credible source
of information to your child. Do not exaggerate the effects of
a given drug. It only widens the credibility gap. If you tell
your child that he will go crazy if he uses marijuana and then
he tries it and he doesn't go crazy, he will not heed any of your
drug information in the future or information provided by others.
- The biggest
mistake parents make is believing that their children will never
use drugs. They ignore all the warning signs and then are shocked
when they receive a phone call from the school, police or another
parent.
- Become aware
of the "do drug" messages and enter communications with your children
about those messages. Discuss what your feelings are -- not what
you think. Ask the child what he feels about things -- not what
he thinks.
- Take a firm
anti-drug stand with young people and adults. Let all segments
know that your children are not allowed to use drugs, including
the narcotic drug "alcohol".
- Back up the
"no drug" rule with a clear and consistent set of behavioral rules
and be willing to enforce them -- do not back down.
- Take positive
steps to strengthen family unity and communication. Parents only
communicate with children to tell them to make the bed, feed the
dog and carry out the trash. Two minutes per day is used to build
a capable young person. Plan a family activity once a week with
no one other than immediate family. Each person takes turns planning,
not put-downs, no evaluations, etc. Your attitude must be one
of "gratitude". The activity will become exciting, sharing and
trusting when you "cop the attitude of gratitude". Accept your
child as he or she is so they may grow. Don't tell then what they
should think or how they should feel.
- Take your
child for an ice-cream cone or lunch once a month. Ask then what
were the five most important things that happened to them last
month and LISTEN. Don't evaluate or judge -- JUST LISTEN. Then
share back about your five most important things and don't make
them all positive. Don't be the perfect macho person who never
feels bad and who has everything under control.
- Don't tell
your children little white lies. The truth will always set you
free.
- Don't adopt
an attitude of "so what's wrong with a few drugs? I raised a little
cane when I was young." This attitude is naive and dangerous.
Such an attitude allows a child to go through adolescence without
learning social skills and coping skills. If and when the young
person stops using drugs, they will be ill-equipped to deal with
adult problems. In addition, the damage that occurs from drugs
is tremendous and very dangerous.
- Another mistake
made by parents is they tend to go to one of two extremes when
drug use is determined. They either kick the child out of the
house or allow him/her to continue using because they don't know
how to stop it. Parents must set realistic, clear and consistent
limits on behavior.
- Set as few
rules as possible - then stick to them. Avoid getting into battles
over trivial issues. Each nagging word weakens your position until
you reach a point where what you say is meaningless to your child
and he just tunes you out. So save your disapproval and discipline
for something important.
- Expect your
rules to be tested. Every child tests the boundaries of acceptable
behavior as a part of growing up. So bear in mind that this period
of testing is a positive one, even though it may be upsetting
for you.
- Don't moralize.
As they test standards of behavior, teenagers may say things that
astound you. But nothing turns them off faster than hearing you
preach to them, particularly when you repeat the same message
over and over.
- Always listen
attentively but respect their privacy. It hurts a child's feeling
if you're too busy to listen to him. Teenagers need responsive
feedback from their parents, and the best way to give it is listen
when they talk.
- Maintain
the generation gap. Teenagers resent parents who try to be a part
of their world just as much as they are offended by indifference
or rejection. Take a stand on your own ideas and values even when
they do differ from your son's or daughter's.
- Try not to
make promises that you can't keep. If you must break a promise,
try to have an excuse that is valid in your teenagers eyes, then
plan to make it up to him some time.
- Let your
teenagers work out their own life-styles. Learn to accept their
individuality just as you accept the individuality of adults.
So don't hold up the son or daughter of a friend or relative as
an example of a satisfactory child.
- Enlist the
help of your older children in understanding younger ones. If
you have two, children in or approaching adolescence, ask you
older child for advice or insight regarding the younger one. Brothers
and sisters know things about each other you don't.
- Don't be
afraid to admit that you can make mistakes too. Showing a teenager
that you are not inflexible or dictatorial will allow them to
rely on you more, not less.
- Let your
children know that they mean everything to you. If your teenager
accomplishes something that you are proud of, praise him for it.
All young people need love and respect, so give it to them freely.
Your teenage needs to know that you love him or her no matter
what happens.
- Read This
Memo From Your Child
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