Ways to fit in some romance, once your kids are asleep:

Eat like grown-ups. Snack when the kids have dinner, but sit down to a real meal later. "Eat by candlelight, use china plates, and drink from the stemware you haven't seen in months," says Jody Johnston Pawel, author of The Parent's Toolshop. It'll encourage both of you to slip from parental mode into a couple's mind-set.

Go for grooming. Shower together, let your husband wash your hair, or give each other a pedicure. The physical contact and nurturing are great connectors.

Drink up. "My husband and I have a romantic ritual: We make hot cocoa," says Carol Brietzke, a mom of two in Montclair, NJ. "We dim the lights and talk about our days, our dreams and schemes."

Make a more intimate nest. Try some moves that will bring you together: Drop the leaves on your dining room table for a cozier supper, position your favorite love seat so you can snuggle while you watch TV, clear the toys and kids' clothes out of your bedroom. "I've pulled a mattress into the living room in front of the fireplace, and we've spent the night there near the crackling embers," says Laura Shay, a mom of two in Austin, TX. "It turns the evening into a surprise."

Get out. You needn't venture any farther than your porch or patio. Set up the baby monitor to keep an ear out; then sit outside, have drinks on the deck, and look at the stars.

Listen up. Music is even more of an emotional trigger than sight or smell, says Edie Raether, a psychotherapist in Holly Springs, NC. "Hearing songs that you like or listened to when you fell in love brings back all of those positive memories."